How many times in your life have you heard of something terrible happening to someone you know and you’ve felt heartbroken for their situation? How many times have you sat back and thanked God it wasn’t you? Does the problems of a friend seem a bit distant? How about world issues…do they touch you, but not affect your day to day life? I think most of us would say that we feel for others during a hard time, but we are glad that “it’s not me” (thought subconsciously.)

The past couple of weeks, Phil and I have been hit hard by the “IT’S ME”. We’ve heard stories before about people being laid off from work due to company cut backs, but hey…it’s not me. We’ve heard about people losing their homes because they just can’t make the mortgage, but hey…it’s not me. We’ve heard about serious depression that sometimes leads to suicide because of job loss, but hey…it’s not me.

How strange it is when it is you. When you are faced with the situations you’ve heard others have gone through but never imagined it would be you. How completely horrifying and deeply painful it is when it is you. It’s not that you don’t truly feel for and want to help others in their time of need. It’s not that you are disassociated from their trials. It’s just that when it does happen to you, you have a truer/deeper understanding of how hard it is. You can appreciate it so much more. You can actually feel it like others have felt it. That makes a difference.

But here’s the question: Once you feel it, once it’s YOU, what do you do? How do you handle it? Where will you draw your strength from?

I will admit, it’s very hard to lean on the Lord when you are scared to death, but who else can you truly lean on? I sat on our sofa the other night watching TV with the family and trying not to focus on our current financial challenges for at least an hour, but I found myself sitting there and literally shaking for fear and concern. I looked around and kept thinking…what if we lose our home! We’ve never been late on a single payment, but if a job isn’t found….what if we lose our home?!?!?! The more I stared blankly at the screen, the more I shook. So what did I do…..got up….walked into the bathroom…closed the door….and I prayed hard. Then I sat back down on the sofa. Did I stop shaking? No, not really. Did I feel peace wash over me? No, not really. But I knew in that moment that the only thing I could do was give it to God, so I did.

What am I praying? I’m praying that the Lord will ease my anxiety and give me wisdom. That He will show us where Phil’s next job is. That the job he will receive will meet our needs and be glorifying to God. I’m asking for forgiveness in my previous financial decisions and for not being more prepared for times of trouble and for wisdom going forward. I’m thanking Him for the family and friends He has given me and for the faith in which I stand.

For now, all I can say is this: the initial shock of being told that Phil is being laid off is over. We are in the process of looking for another job for him and we are leaning on God. We’re still scared and we’re still having a hard time sleeping, but God is in control. He is far better equipped to handle this than we are and He already knows that no matter what, he will be glorified in this situation. We are giving it all to Him in prayer and we are praying for all those who are going through this too. We now truly understand what it means to be laid off!

Luke 12:22-25  Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

James 5:11 We count them blessed who endure.

James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials.

Romans 5:3-4 We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope.

Hebrew 11:26 [Moses believed] the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward.

Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.