I just love this Christmas song by Casting Crowns….enjoy!!! The lyrics are below.

The Lyrics:
I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play
And mild and sweet their songs repeat
Of peace on earth good will to men

And the bells are ringing
Like a choir they’re singing
In my heart I hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

And in despair I bowed my head
There is no peace on earth I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men

But the bells are ringing
Like a choir singing
Does anybody hear them?
Peace on earth, good will to men

Then rang the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor doth He sleep
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men

Then ringing singing on its way

The world revolved from night to day
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good will to men

And the bells they’re ringing
Like a choir they’re singing
And with our hearts we’ll hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

Do you hear the bells they’re ringing?
The life the angels singing
Open up your heart and hear them
Peace on earth, good will to men

Peace on earth, Peace on earth
Peace on earth, Good will to men

The last time I took some time to blog, I was telling everyone about Phil being laid off and the turmoil associated with that. It’s been a few weeks now and things are still difficult for us. We have lived in fear of not being able to provide for our family, fear of not being able to pay the basic bills. We have cried and we have been depressed. We have felt like we were on a roller coaster; on the upside we were doing ok and truly trusting in God and a moment later we are on the down slope and our stomachs are churning and our eyes are watering. It has been very hard to find a balance of emotion. In the process, we have lost almost 25 lbs combined and we aren’t dieting. (Personally, this is an upside for me.)

In the past few weeks, even when we’ve been our most terrified, we have seen God in our troubled times. Leaning on Him is not always easy. In fact, leaning on Him takes considerable effort at times. It’s not an easy thing to give all your fears to God and just let them go. It’s not our human nature to do that. We try. We know we should. We want to trust in Him. We want the peace which transcends all understanding (Phil 4:6-7), but how do we actually implement our desire to trust and lean on Him. How do we actually give our worries to Him and find that peace?

The answer, for me recently has been: one second at a time. Yes, every single second of fear I’ve felt, I’ve had to make a conscious effort to give that second to God. I’ve had to make a decided effort to pray and trust in Him. Did I immediately feel complete peace wash over me: not really. The fear and the upset stomach, they were still there, but there was also a real sense that I logically knew God was in control.

Implementing faith and seeing God:
We have strived to give back to God what He has given to us, even in these tough times. That means still writing a check for offering every Sunday even if I don’t know if I can pay the credit card bill. I’ve sat at my desk the past few Sunday mornings writing my offering checks and praying as I do. My prayer: “Lord, I give back to you just a portion of what you have given to me. I know that things are tough right now, but I’m trusting in you Father. Please continue to provide for our family. May these funds be used to glorify you Lord.” At the end of the prayer, I seal the envelope and I try to feel peace. Not so easy to do!

But you know, praying and tithing and just trying hard to do what God would want us to do in this rough situation has shown us God’s love! He has answered our prayers in small ways. He has shown us that He is indeed with us.

Last Friday, I was blessed with two unexpected events when we really needed them. I received my paycheck and I am a salaried employee. On the paycheck, my boss had placed a $100 bonus because I had done some extra work. He didn’t need to do that at all and I certainly wasn’t expecting it….his business is feeling the effects of the stock market crisis. God was caring for me and it was beautiful. But even more than that one blessing, the same day, I arrived home and found an unexpected check for $150 in our mailbox. What a huge blessing! God was speaking to us!

Sunday morning at church, I asked in the Sunday school office if they had any needs that I could help with. They were fully staffed, so Phil and I started cleaning up a spot on the mural in the hall that was driving me nuts. Ten minutes in and I get the call to head to the 3rd grade classroom to fill in for a teacher who hadn’t arrived. This is a great group of kids and the co-teacher giving the lesson is a fabulous guy. So I dig in to help and realize that God had put me here for a specific reason. The lesson was on coveting and contentment. The last portion of the class dealt with Paul’s words in Philippians 4:11-13 11I’m not saying that because I need anything. I have learned to be content no matter what happens to me. 12I know what it’s like not to have what I need. I also know what it’s like to have more than I need. I have learned the secret of being content no matter what happens. I am content whether I am well fed or hungry. I am content whether I have more than enough or not enough. 13I can do everything by the power of Christ. He gives me strength.

Wow, contentment in any and all situations! I wasn’t supposed to be in this class, but God brought me there at the last minute to tell me to be content! To tell me that I can do everything by the power of Christ and to tell me that He gives me strength.

The final blessing I’ll mention here came Sunday night when I sat down to see what credit bills I could pay and which companies I might have to call and explain our current situation too. Amazingly, somehow, by the Grace of God, I was able to pay every bill due this month, take out gas and food budget money, and have $73 left over. That may not sound like a lot, but that’s a gold mine to us right now! I don’t know if the basic bills will be paid next month, but I know God has provided thus far! He is good! Praise HIM! For He is truly awesome! He truly cares for us. We just have to look for Him in everything. He is there! He is good! He is!

How many times in your life have you heard of something terrible happening to someone you know and you’ve felt heartbroken for their situation? How many times have you sat back and thanked God it wasn’t you? Does the problems of a friend seem a bit distant? How about world issues…do they touch you, but not affect your day to day life? I think most of us would say that we feel for others during a hard time, but we are glad that “it’s not me” (thought subconsciously.)

The past couple of weeks, Phil and I have been hit hard by the “IT’S ME”. We’ve heard stories before about people being laid off from work due to company cut backs, but hey…it’s not me. We’ve heard about people losing their homes because they just can’t make the mortgage, but hey…it’s not me. We’ve heard about serious depression that sometimes leads to suicide because of job loss, but hey…it’s not me.

How strange it is when it is you. When you are faced with the situations you’ve heard others have gone through but never imagined it would be you. How completely horrifying and deeply painful it is when it is you. It’s not that you don’t truly feel for and want to help others in their time of need. It’s not that you are disassociated from their trials. It’s just that when it does happen to you, you have a truer/deeper understanding of how hard it is. You can appreciate it so much more. You can actually feel it like others have felt it. That makes a difference.

But here’s the question: Once you feel it, once it’s YOU, what do you do? How do you handle it? Where will you draw your strength from?

I will admit, it’s very hard to lean on the Lord when you are scared to death, but who else can you truly lean on? I sat on our sofa the other night watching TV with the family and trying not to focus on our current financial challenges for at least an hour, but I found myself sitting there and literally shaking for fear and concern. I looked around and kept thinking…what if we lose our home! We’ve never been late on a single payment, but if a job isn’t found….what if we lose our home?!?!?! The more I stared blankly at the screen, the more I shook. So what did I do…..got up….walked into the bathroom…closed the door….and I prayed hard. Then I sat back down on the sofa. Did I stop shaking? No, not really. Did I feel peace wash over me? No, not really. But I knew in that moment that the only thing I could do was give it to God, so I did.

What am I praying? I’m praying that the Lord will ease my anxiety and give me wisdom. That He will show us where Phil’s next job is. That the job he will receive will meet our needs and be glorifying to God. I’m asking for forgiveness in my previous financial decisions and for not being more prepared for times of trouble and for wisdom going forward. I’m thanking Him for the family and friends He has given me and for the faith in which I stand.

For now, all I can say is this: the initial shock of being told that Phil is being laid off is over. We are in the process of looking for another job for him and we are leaning on God. We’re still scared and we’re still having a hard time sleeping, but God is in control. He is far better equipped to handle this than we are and He already knows that no matter what, he will be glorified in this situation. We are giving it all to Him in prayer and we are praying for all those who are going through this too. We now truly understand what it means to be laid off!

Luke 12:22-25  Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

James 5:11 We count them blessed who endure.

James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials.

Romans 5:3-4 We also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope.

Hebrew 11:26 [Moses believed] the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt; for he looked to the reward.

Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me.